Las Piedras jamás, paloma, que van a saber de amores.

One more things I've learned about patience is the fact that if you just wait things out, it will all work out in the end. Patience is the key to battling stress.

I deal with so much here in Santiago that I really did have to grow up, and fast. But I can't stress about it because that really only makes it worse. Keeping the idea of patience in mind really helps just because I know it will get better, I just got to keep my composure while waiting.

Me he salvado en tantas guerras, me he cansado de llorar, y ahora que ya estoy de vuelta quiero vivir mas.

I may only be 21 years old but after living in Chile all this time I feel like I''m 40. It's just that every single week something else has to come along that stresses me out beyond belief. I have had to deal with so much while being here that I can't and don't think like most people my age. Going out to bars or clubs or drinking with friends almost every night is something that sends shivers up my spine and freaks me out. It really is because of other people I stress so much, so being with people to have fun? Not a good idea.

Last night Andres and I went out to Las Terrazas to go out and try and have a good time, basically just so we wouldn't have to be shut up in the house all the time. Everyone needs a break from the routine every now and then just so you don't get so bored.

BAD IDEA.

Way too many people, music way too loud, poor service, and horrible drinks. I felt way more uncomfortable than you would think humanly possible, I did have some good company though.

Andres really is the only part of all of this that makes being here worth it. I have said it a million times and I will continue saying it: I would be barking mad if he wasn't in my life. He talks sense in to me and just gives me a little peace and calm in this madness that is Santiago.

Back to growing up and responsibilities....It seems like once a year something goes wrong with my life back in USA. Last year I lost my flight with United and that was a month long battle to figure out what I was going to do, but I did it myself. This year though, it got a little more complicated. My advisor at SOU never got my completion letter from my internship so I ended up receiving an incomplete and 0 credits. When you fail to complete any amount of credits at SOU they take away your financial aid and therefore taking away your ability to study next term.

So I took care of it all by myself once again (with a few phone calls done by Andres...). I got my financial aid back. My advisor got the letter. I'm looking for my other internship to receive full credit.

I know how to do things on my own and by myself and I feel 40 years old because of the road that brought me here.

Lo mejor de mi vida eres tu.

I'm home alone most of the time because Andres leaves for work early in the morning and gets back in the late afternoon, so I guess I get a lot of "me" time. Which really just leaves me to think and when I start to think, I think up a storm.

I stress and worry about things so easily and without any distractions it really makes for a very exasperating day. So when Andres gets home from work it's like a breathe of fresh air, having someone I can talk to about every little thought that has passed through my mind is an amazing thing. I really do applaud the man, I mean, it takes a lot of patience to sit and listen to my pointless rambling...Without that though I would just be a giant mess.

If I was able to get out and do more it wouldn't be so bad but Santiago is a gross big city with a not-so-nice-egoistic population. But then again, this is coming from a small town girl, I grew up in a place where everyone knows everyone. You couldn't go anywhere without seeing someone you knew or have someone tattle-tail on you for being where you weren't supposed to...I'm sorry to say it but I really do miss it. I wanted out for so long, to live in a place with more opportunities, but now I just want to be in that old cabin up in the hills. I want to be far away from people, I want to be stress free, I want calmness and tranquility, but most of all, I want my freedom back.

Santiago is worst than federal prison. If you don't have money or a car. You don't go anywhere.

Hasta lo proximo...

Espera, aún me quedan en mis manos primaveras para colmarte de caricias todas nuevas que morirían en mis manos si te fueras.

Some people may think that painting ones nails is just a superficial way to help one's personal "look," but really it just gives me a chance to calm down and think.

Todays color: bright pink.

Patience is one of my greatest virtues, simply because I feel like I always have to be waiting for something. Right now for example I'm waiting for my visa so that we can start Andres' visa and then finally get back to the US together. Well, that's the plan anyways. We will see what happens because as I have said before our luck really hasn't been that great lately.

And by bad luck I mean, doctor visits, unexpected bills, dealing with a more than difficult mother-in-law, a horrible internship, and living in a household full of disrespectful people.

-With time I will get to all the above mentioned and explain it all a bit more...

But I do try to live day to day without thinking so much about the future but sometimes thinking about the future is unavoidable. Everyday I have to think about all the possible outcomes of me getting my visa or not getting my visa and the consequences each might bring to our plans. Then there is always the possibility that Andres doesn't get his visa, what will we do then? The only thing holding me together is the thought that we will be together in a better place and I wouldn't know what to do if something came in the way of that.

Bueno, hasta lo proximo, ciao mis amores.

Desde que el momento en que te vi...

I am a short, blonde, timid little girl, but a little girl with big feelings and even bigger dreams. But I had never once thought that this is where I would be at the age of 21.

My life officially began when:

I arrived in Valdivia in August of 2009 without the slightest clue that my life was going to change so drastically. After 3 months I met Andres en el Pacific, a gym where he worked as a personal trainer, and 8 months later we were married. I then had to leave Chile a month later to go back to the states to finish a term at Southern Oregon University.

I came back to Chile in December of 2010 after a horrible four month separation from my husband and seeing him in the Airport was one of the best days of my life. Right next to when we said, "I do," of course. I am so grateful that we are finally together once again, even though our luck has taken a turn for the worst lately.

This is the story of my life, the story of our love, and the story of our journey to a better life in a better world.

Hasta lo proximo, ciao mis amores.